Christmas at the Little Elf Workshop

Christmas time.  The one time of the year that we embrace our last name "Elflein" which is German for "Little Elf".


I have informed Ken that if the situation is ever to arise where I am confined to an assisted living home I want my room to be decorated for Christmas all year long.  I want Christmas music, Christmas TV, Christmas movies, and the smell of cinnamon all day everyday.  I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!


For us the Christmas season begins at 12:01am on the day after Thanksgiving.  This year we were in Albuquerque for Thanksgiving so the festivities did't begin until Saturday.  We begin with decorations.  We have decorations stored in every closet, nook and cranny of this house.  It takes a full day to decorate the inside of the house alone.  Then another day (or sometimes several depending on how many trips to Lowe's we have to make) to do the outside.


We have four (yes that's right FOUR) Christmas Trees around the house.  This year, we were only able to put up two though because a certain little rugrat thought the ornaments were balls to be bounced and we felt we should spare the tree that typically goes in our bedroom.


In the living room we have an ENORMOUS 9' tree.  This tree is overall blue, white, and silver but also has all of our family ornaments.  We get one personalized ornament each year.

 

In the dining room is a smaller 7' decorated with red and gold to match the dining room decor.

And of course Sophia has her own tree that matches her room.

Outside, I love lots of lights but we prefer to keep them all white.  I think it has a more dramatic and less "aluminum tree a-la Charlie Brown Christmas" feel.  I do the down stairs and Ken does the roof.

 This is a sign my Mom made us for our first Christmas in Las Cruces.

Ken's mom also put up her tree that first weekend and tried to find a way to get Sophia's attention away from her tree.  She came up with a pretty good idea :)

For the first several years we lived in LC, we went to Albuquerque every year for Christmas.  The first year, we were sad that we would not be in our home for Christmas so we came up with our own tradition to do each year just the two of us before we went to ABQ.  Christmas Movie Marathon.  Each year we choose 3-4 Christmas movies to watch in one night.  We ALWAYS watch Love Actually (yes it is a Christmas movie and yes it is the best movie ever)  We also make the same meal each year.  Beef Croustades.  Then we make Christmas cookies and get into an argument over the cookies...every year. :)

These are the croustades being assembled.  I forgot to get a pic when they were done, but rest assured they were yummy!

And these are Egg Nog Cookies with Egg Nog Icing.  Sooooo yummy!

And speaking of cookies...

Sophia's school had a Christmas party with a real life SANTA that brought presents for all the kiddos.  Sophia in turn brought Santa ALL of the cookies from the cookie basket...one at a time.  She knew Santa loves cookies :)

She LOOOOVED this Santa!  

The Santa at the mall not so much.

We also took her to have some pics done at Sears.  She doesn't really love having her picture taken but they did get some nice shots.

A couple of weeks before Christmas, we got a wonderful snow.  Soph and I got a day off and a delay the following day.  She loved playing in the snow!

And then we watched Rudolf and Frosty the Snowman :)

Unfortunately, Grammy wasn't able to come down for Christmas itself but she, Aunt Lucy, and cousin Ashton did come down on the 22nd to spend a couple of days.

Watching Backyardigans with Grammy...

Opening round one of Christmas presents.

 Flip n Doodle!

 Rocking Chair :)

 Trying to feed cousin some milk :)

The night they arrived, it started to snow.  It snowed and it snowed and it didn't stop until Christmas Eve.  Before they left, we took the kids outside to play.

 My Angel's snow-angel.

They left Christmas Eve (after some auto troubles).  That night we went to Grandma Camille's for the traditional Feast of the Seven Fish.  I was pretty tired so we left earlier than usual.  We went home and let Soph open one of her presents.  Before she opened it, she pulled all of the presents out from under the tree and sat on them.  One at a time.  

We think she was trying to pick a good one.  She got "Olivia Claus"!  We read it to her and put her to bed.  We plan to read it to her every year on Christmas Eve :)

Once she was asleep, Santa came to the Little Elf Workshop!

Christmas is sooooo fun with a kiddo!  I LOVE playing Santa.  The look on her face when we went into her room was as if she knew it was Christmas morning and could feel the magic.

She played with her kitchen all day and the next and the next and still goes straight to her kitchen to play everyday.

Good job Santa.


Of course she got many MANY other gifts that she absolutely loves including  but surely not limited to: A tea set, an Aqua Doodle, a shopping cart with awesome grocery items for her kitchen, many books, lots of clothes, Tasha and Austin dolls to add to her Backyardigans collection, etc.


After Christmas, Auntie Lally and Uncle Mase Mase came to visit.  Uncle Mase Mase taught Sophia how to wash her hands in the sink.

And finally, we decided to have a quiet New Year's Eve this year.  We used some gift cards to buy ourselves a fondue pot.  We turned our kitchen into our own private Melting Pot :)


Overall, this was an incredible Christmas season.  We are so blessed to have been surrounded by wonderful friends and family and our little girl is incredibly spoiled (but far from rotten).  The Elfleins are so in love and so grateful for all that we have.  We are looking forward to what 2012 has to offer.

Until next year, I leave you with my favorite Christmas movie quote:
"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.  That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.'" 

Shocked, confused, and completely heartbroken.

Throughout my 30 years, 8 months, and 2 weeks of life I have had some pretty shitty days. Those days were nothing compared to January 1, 2012. This was the worst day of my life. On this day, we found out that we lost our baby.


After my appointment last week I experienced some bleeding. I called my doctor to see if it was anything to be concerned about (obviously when you're pregnant and you see blood, you're going to be concerned). I was told by the nurse that it was typical after a pelvic exam and she gave me a couple of things to look out for. Saturday the bleeding was a little worse but the doctor's office was closed and they don't have an answering service apparently. I stood in my kitchen, praying to God to keep my baby safe. I had a feeling of calm come over me and I knew at that moment that my baby was safe, safe in heaven. I still called my Mom to talk to her about it and possibly to try to convince myself that this wasn't really happening. I did feel better for a while but knew in my heart it was all over. The next day, New Year's Day, the bleeding worsened and so did the cramping. That afternoon I knew it was time to go to the emergency room. There they did another pelvic exam followed by an ultrasound. I have seen so many ultrasounds with my first pregnancy that I knew (more or less) what I was looking at. I saw the sac, I knew when she was measuring the amniotic fluid, and I knew when I was supposed to be listening to the heartbeat. There was no heartbeat. There was no baby there at all. The tech didn't say anything, just continued to look around inside. I knew though. A tear shot down my cheek. When she was done, I glanced at Ken and mouthed "No heartbeat." Then I asked her just to be sure. She said that there was no heartbeat. She said she thought it was probably something called a Blighted Ovum. As she described it, it meant that there never was a baby in the first place. She said fertilization occurred and my body thought I was pregnant and went through all of the motions but for what ever reason, it was not a viable pregnancy and my body expelled the fertilized egg. Since then I have learned much more about Blighted Ovums. I think she was trying to make us feel better. There was a baby. There is no way to know exactly what happened but either the cells just didn't split, the egg didn't implant correctly, or there was a chromosomal defect so severe my body knew it wasn't meant to be.


Unfortunately, my body also continued on as if I was pregnant. I had all the typical signs and symptoms, although they had subsided the last week or two. I had even begun to grow a baby bump.


After the ER, Ken dropped me off at home and went to get Sophia from his Mom's house. I walked in the door and just stared. I stared and stared. At walls. At the Christmas tree. I turned on the tv and stared right through it. I didn't want to talk to anyone. That continued all night. I finally fell asleep for a while but woke up at about 4 and it all hit me again. I went to Sophia's room and laid on the floor of her room for the rest of the night listening to her sleep. Yesterday wasn't much better. The only thing that really kept me going was Sophia and the need to take care of my daughter. She has no idea what is going on and is just as playful, joyful, and loving as ever. Her touch and her laughter make me forget for a moment. Even her tantrums are a wonderful distraction.


Yesterday afternoon we went out into the back yard and played for a while. I spread some seeds from my flowers and imagined the pretty flowers coming up in the spring. We made plans for expanding Sophia's play area so that we can fit her playset we intend to get her for her birthday next month. This all made me feel much better, although I still had a pit in my stomach the entire time.


My feelings and emotions seem to change by the hour. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm confused. I'm heartbroken. I'm grateful that it happened when it did as opposed to later in the pregnancy. Most of all, I'm so completely disappointed. This one never changes. Making the decision to have another baby was making the decision to change our lives forever. We made plans, we envisioned our lives with two babies, we were so excited. I know we will try again when we can. I know we will have another baby. But for know, we are heartbroken and so disappointed that this was taken from us. I will never be 100% again. My baby died before I got a chance to know him/her. That's not something that ever goes away.


Ken has been so wonderful. I know he is hurting too, but his number one concern and priority has been to make sure I'm ok and get me anything I need. He's such a great husband and father and he too is heartbroken that he lost his baby.


I'm now charged with the task of telling all those that we had announced the baby to that there won't be a baby at this time.  Fortunately, I didn't broadcast anything on Facebook.  We go back to the doctor tomorrow to find out if we will continue to let the miscarriage complete naturally or if a D & C is necessary. Regardless of what happens, I won't write about this again.


Letter to Sophia:


My sweet girl,


Someday, when you are grown up, I will tell you all about this. I am so thankful that you are too young to understand what is happening. You would have been so loving to this baby. He/She would have been lucky to have you as a big sister.


I want to thank you for your mere existence. Were it not for your presence in my life I don't know how I would have gotten through the last few days. You give me reason to go on and move forward with life.


I love you soooo much and now, you have a guardian angel watching over you forever.


Always remember, Mommy loves you.




Letter to Baby:


Dearest Baby,


Although you never were able to come home to us, you will always be a part of this family. We loved you so much from the moment we knew about you. We will continue to love you forever.


I know you were taken away according to God's plan. While we don't understand it. We have to accept it. I know that one day, I will meet you and finally get to see your sweet face.


Love,
Your Mommy